It is so small that you hardly notice it. It begins as a fleck of dust at the corner of your eyes, the sand that you rub when you wake from a night of dreams. It falls by your bedside and lands in the air, swirling around you. It pulls at your skin and wrings through your hair but you think it might just be an itch. You scratch it and leave some skin exposed. It dives. It buries itself layer on layer, underneath bone and muscle and blood. It corkscrews its way through your skull, jumps nodes and rides down your spinal tracts until it reaches the plexus of nerves that entangle your heart. It tugs. The nerves clench. Your heart begins to beat faster. Yet you are unaware. Here you sit, eating your bananas on toast and reading the daily paper. Your heart beats itself against your ribcage, and suddenly your vision falters. Everything starts to spin and thunder. You begin to notice now, don’t you? The invader. The other. Your sight begins to fade and the light around the room starts to move and twist. You can feel it in every inch of you now, and it makes your hands shiver. You are about to die, right there at your breakfast table. You’ve only half finished your cup of tea. The news is playing but the voices are dull. You see the red flash of a woman’s lips. It’s so quick that you can’t even think a last thought. In seconds, you slip away. Even your voice has been pried from its home in your throat. It takes you, holds you in its cold fingers, even before you are barely conscious of it.
- YOU AREN’T AN IDIOT FOR DOING SOMETHING WRONG
- YOU AREN’T AN IDIOT FOR SAYING SOMETHING WRONG
- YOU AREN’T AN IDIOT FOR NOT KNOWING SOMETHING
- YOU AREN’T AN IDIOT
- YOU ARE A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING AND I LOVE YOU SO, SO MUCH
By the way, you didn’t do anything wrong.
The nice people in the world tell themselves these things way too often, and the not-nice people in the world don’t tell themselves these things enough.
Read up on ethics, leadership techniques, literature/books (excluding shit like twilight), and you will eventually get it. Counselling sessions always help a lot, because there’s always these tricks your own mind will use to help you to cope, and to get rid of those rules you make in your head which are sometimes damaging. Takes another person to see it.
Also, never underestimate the power of bad company being able to make you feel like shit. ”Consider the source.” And if you’re in middle school/ high school, I’m sorry, it’s tough, but hang in there, it gets better.
I have unconditional love for the good people of the world, and that includes you.
Ahhh,; this is so weird. Tumblr, why is my movie not working?
I need to get drunk at a party and kiss boys I don’t know and sink into the sea metaphorically. I am scared that I said no to my soulmate.
It is 12:42, and the midnight deliriousness is starting to take over. My thoughts are turning into a stairwell downward, and breathing becomes fuzzy and imaginary. Occasionally empty and yearning. But then ending with the swift.
Ghost by Voxtrot. // Undertow by Stars
I love that one of my friends has a house. We were at her party, and my roommate and I climbed up to the roof to enjoy the atmosphere. It was a tiny bit of crisp cold, but when we hung our feet down the side, the were warm because of the lightbulbs. Climbing down, I found a tiny square-cube of a nook where my entire body can fit inside, but Alina’s couldn’t. Parties are lonely until you run into a friend, and we did run into one! I fed him the inside nectar of honeysuckle. Some to Valentina too. Bonding over honeysuckle is smashing.
I was having a really hard time sleeping last night because I had fallen off my bike and gotten about thirty symmetrical slashes parallel all the way down my leg. And had no bandaid that fit it. I couldn’t sleep with the pain and positioning, and it was slightly still bleeding after disinfecting it, so… what did people do before bandaids were invented? I folded a napkin in half and scotch taped it to my leg.
It looks kind of strange, but hurts to take it off, so people will have to see my makeshift bandage. What a piece of artwork, kekeke.